Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
