all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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