This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
