Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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