How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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