Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
