I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just want nice things and good sex
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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