O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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