So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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