How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The adults are the big ones right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
