Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
even my farts smell like vagina
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
