And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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