rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
