Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
