giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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