sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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