So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
