I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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