Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
