Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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