You can't motorboat a personality
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
