3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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