so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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