Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize