Don't make out with my wife yet
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
