I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
