I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hippo gnu deer
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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