Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
