remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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