Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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