Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
