The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
