Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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