Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
