areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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