Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
