Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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