Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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