Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
