ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
another moral hangover. fuck.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
