Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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