I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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