I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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