Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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