Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
