Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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