alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I deserve this hangover.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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