We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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