I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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