should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
