Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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