I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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