listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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