i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
