We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
