GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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