Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
